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In the old times, one of the small (not so small?) joys of my life was getting to meet new people. People who came into my life for a short time or a long time, a work project, a friend of a friend, a trip, a trip just to a different neighborhood...they made things brighter and more colorful. They changed my perspective and opened up my world. I miss this!
When my lovely friend Allyson sent me the info of a Wall Street Journal reporter who was looking to talk to new pandemic moms, I said yes. She was writing a story about how technology could make things alternately/weirdly less lonely and more isolating.
It was interesting—cool but a little uncomfortable—being the interviewee instead of the interviewer, which I am way more used to. Then the journalist asked if they could send a photographer to my apartment to take photos of me and my family. I said yes!
I debated whether or not to get my hair and makeup done, which is certainly harder in pandemic days. Allyson and my husband Tony said yes. Why not? If it helped me feel more confident, I should do it. My mom said no. Her reasoning was that I didn’t usually get gussied up in Covid times, so it would be more realistic to go without.
I decided to go for it, with the help of Allyson’s trusted hair guy (he had a pregnant wife and was very Covid safe) and Glamsquad for makeup. I really liked them both. My makeup artist was a Ukrainian oil painter who had pivoted to makeup because the pandemic had all but shut down her tour guide business. I found myself nearly giddy just chatting with these new people. I asked to look natural, like myself but better, and they both delivered.
I was expecting just a few quick snaps from the photographer, but we had a nearly two-hour photo shoot. Her name is Adrienne Grunwald, and I immediately liked her and wanted to be friends with her. She also has a baby at home, who was about Simone’s age when the pandemic started. It felt a little bit like the old times, but also very much like now (windows open, fan on, masks on.)
I’m glad I didn’t google Adrienne until after she left, as I would have been super intimidated. She’s photographed Hilary Clinton, Margret Atwood, Jay McInerney and Kylie Jenner. I told her about my discomfort in front of the camera, and she got it.
“I hate having my photo taken,” she said.
She took pictures of Simone playing and me chasing after her; me giving Simone a bottle; Simone and I visiting Tony, who was trying to work from our bedroom which is also his office. I had to send a quick email to let my 2 PM phone call know I’d be a little late, as the photo shoot was taking longer than I anticipated. When I sat there typing my email, Adrienne took more pictures, including the one that would run at the top of the story.
I liked the story, which came out over the weekend (so fast!). Although I think it’s obvious to any parent that everything on the internet is a mixed and messy bag, and that sorting the genuinely useful tips and experiences from the judgey posts—which sometimes seem carefully engineered just to make other moms feel bad—is a project in and of itself. The pandemic intensifies this whole dynamic. In the before times, we had the tapestry of our IRL experiences to contrast the potentially harsh online world. Now it’s just one app and another app and a text chain or WhatsApp group, an occasional call or Zoom, everything from the screen feeling somehow rougher around the edges.
We all just need a hug.
Or anyway, I need a hug.
So here’s the closest I can come, an email full of warm hug thoughts as this pandemic winter seems to go on and on.
xo,
H
Photo: Adrienne Grunwald for the Wall Street Journal