Grateful and depleted

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I have been solo parenting for almost two weeks. Tony is currently on a plane between Hong Kong and San Francisco. He’ll land in JFK sometime early tomorrow (Thanksgiving!) morning.

Here’s how my nights have been going:

7:15: After several renditions of Baby Beluga, I get Julius to sleep. His new favorite mantras: “Mommy wait," and “Mommy rub my back more.” I do a lot of back rubs.

7:45: Simone gets a “super tuck” (my cousin Annie introduced this fave). She wants to sing wheels on the bus and for me to remain quiet. She needs a lot of “super big mommy hugs” with various degrees of squishiness. Bedtime has been relentless with her because she’ll stand at the door and whisper-yell “mommy, there’s something in my teeth; “mommy, my hands are cold,” “mommy, my water tastes funny,” “mommy, I need a fresh bandaid” and pretty much anything else you can or cannot think of.

7:55 Because of this fun pattern, we’ve instituted a rule that Simone gets two “Mommy visits.” This worked really well for one night. The last few nights, she is arguing that her mommy visits don’t count, and also it is an emergency because her blanket needs rearranging, etc. She and Julius share a room so I get wary of her screaming too much; I don’t want to wake up her little brother.

8:05 I’m getting frustrated/angry/tired/grumpy. I tell her she is out of mommy visits and I’ll see her in the morning.

8:15 I put a fancy Honeymoon bakery (our amazing local spot) sourdough white rosemary pizza in the oven for myself.

8:30 I try to sit down and eat but there is a “mommy, mommy, mommy” escalating in volume, coning from Simone. One more back rub. One more super tuck.

8:40 I eat my pizza and drink a Phony Negroni (delicious). I watch Queer Eye and do a few minutes of my puzzle.

9:15 I tuck myself into bed (self super tuck?). I’m rereading Fates and Furies. I’m on a Lauren Groff spree after loving The Vaster Wilds so completely.

9:30 I hear an ear piercing scream from Julius. I head downstairs for a back rub, but he is inconsolable. Usually a cuddle is all he needs to cheer up and get back to sleep, but it’s not working. Poor baby. Screaming and wailing. He doesn’t want water. He doesn’t even want to watch Rafi singing Baby Beluga circa 1982 on my phone. He won’t take infant Tylenol.

9:45 I start to worry. This is not like him. I call my mom.

9:55 The best part o having amazing parents around the corner! My mom comes over. Miraculously, Simone sleeps through all the lamentation. We think it must be a night terror.

10:05 Julius falls asleep in my arms.

10:15 I tuck him in. My mom says goodnight. I tuck myself in. I’m anxious. Thump thump in my chest. More Fates and Furies. Deep breaths.

3:30 AM: “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” from Simone. “The white noise machine is too loud.” Back rubs. Regular tuck.

4 AM: I cannot sleep. Fates and Furies.

4:30 AM: Beautiful sleep.

Anyway, Tony is coming to share the night shift, hallelujah!

Until then, I’ve put one foot in front of the other, I’ve kept everyone alive. I’ve worked, I’ve cuddled, I’ve prepared a lot of fish sticks, I’ve changed a lot of poopy diapers, I’ve thrown a lot of rocks in the river, I’ve rubbed a lot of backs, and here we are, here I am…deeply exhausted and deeply grateful.

Black Friday Class Sale!!!!

Nov 15: Travel Writing 101!

I’ll be teaching this from assignment in Oslo, so very appropriate.

Jan 24: Back by popular demand! Our pitching intensive.

Students have landed pieces in Vogue, Eater, Conde Nast Traveler, and more. Bring a pith to workshop!

On Friday, Use the promo code BlackFriday for $30 off an individual class, or BlackFridayx2 for both classes for $125. (The list price is $100/class, this is the biggest discount we’ve ever offered.)

Thanksgiving can be amazing; Thanksgiving can be fraught. I hope you get something incredibly delicious to eat and drink, a moment to pause, and maybe even time with people who love you and who you love.

Sending love.

I am so grateful for you.

xo,

Hannah

When in doubt, we go outside.