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Here I am in a coffee shop in a cute town (not mine), about to meet a friend. I needed a change of scenery. My matcha latte is delicious. Sun is streaming through the windows. I am hopeful.
It’s been a big year. I haven’t come close to figuring out how to juggle being a human, mom, wife, daughter, friend, writer, editor, teacher, and all the things. But I’ve come closer to realizing that there is no magical figuring it out, and that’s ok, and the mess is where all the good stuff is. (See my note on my perfectionism, below).
I remember starting my 2023 pitch spreadsheet from my in-law’s dining room table about a year ago in England, the beautiful tree lit up beside me. I didn’t end up sending out 100 pitches this year - my original goal. I started neglecting the spreadsheet somewhere around the middle of the year. (I just checked it, I made it to 62!).
BUT, ahem, a reframe for my perfectionist brain - I didn’t fail so much as shift. Lots of great lessons and opportunities came out of the process. I got some amazing new gigs, like a pretty steady stream of assignments from Wine Enthusiast, which then disappeared when my editor left for bigger, better things. My first story for The Guardian! A really good muscle around nailing down my ideas and simplifying the noise in my brain. A really good muscle about carrying on when I hear NO or (most often) radio silence. Not a thicker skin, per se, just…keeping it moving.
PARENTING
I spent time with a new mom friend and her newborn yesterday, and I had this realization mid baby cuddle that I am in a vastly different parenting chapter. I miss those baby carrier walks, but I do not miss the bone aching exhaustion.
Julius turned two last month, and there’s been a big shift to having a toddler and a kid, rather than a baby and a toddler. They actually PLAY together, which is sweet and magical. They also get INTO IT and might be found pulling on each other’s pajamas and screaming “nooooo, don’t say that,” in each other’s faces. I still find parenting unspeakably hard on most days (I’m thinking of my own recent breakdown when Julius bit me, drawing blood through my pants, in our local bakery), but I get these tiny glimpses of ease, this sort of light of moments that feel fun and manageable.
These help me, too:
MANTRAS
(Many from Dr. Becky! And 12 step!)
It’s hard because it is hard, not because I am doing something wrong.
This is not an emergency (very helpful with a crying/screaming/tantrumming kid).
This too shall pass. (also very helpful with a crying/screaming/tantrumming ki
Nothing has gone wrong. (see same note).
PERFECTIONISM
A slow journey to let this go. Toddlers are great at helping with this. We made these cute pizzas for kid friends who came over and nobody had even a bite. (I did, they were delicious.) Julius took an apple to bed with him last night. I’m trying to remind myself that my wellbeing and peace are more important than checking tasks off a list. That grounded and sane comes before organized and shiny. (This is hard for me, I’m still IN IT.)
WORK
Some wins and some losses, some highs and lows, but overall work feels abundant and juicy and exciting.
On my plane ride home from Oslo a few weeks ago, I got an email that my longest ever ongoing freelance gig (for Eventbrite) was coming to an end. This was a gig I had way before Covid, during both postpartums, during…everything. They said it had nothing to do with my work, they were just pivoting. But still! My ego had that pang of...ouch.
Ultimately, “man’s rejection is God’s protection.” It feels weird typing that saying, with both man and God in it, but in my experience it’s often true. I like to think of rejections opening up room for bigger and better things.
Good stuff is brewing, for sure. We’re growing at ParentCo., my anchor client, so I’m excited for 2024 with them. I’m writing for WendyPerrin.com, a travel community and website that is the real deal. In 2024, hope to write more stories that I care about, for publications that…people read.
I also had some cool opportunities, like being on Freakonomics Radio podcast, representing ParentCo. at the Prego Expo in Atlanta, and selling my books at a local holiday market last weekend. I even wore a sparkly blazer!
TRAVEL
I left the kids for the first time for a solid chunk of time to go on a barge cruise to Burgundy. I cried for half the plane ride, but I’m so glad I went. Then I did it again and again. (Napa and Oslo!). We took an incredible, exhausting family trip to the French Riviera. I took a quick work trip to Atlanta. Where will 2024 bring me? (Hey universe, I’d like to go to South America!)
WRITING
Some pieces that I’m proud of from the year:
On sustainable cheese, in The Guardian
Postpartum depression and food, in HuffPost
My favorite cheese, in Bon Appetit
Cheese board mastery, in Real Simple
My big writing goal for the year ahead is to make the space/time/energy to work on MY NOVEL. You read that right!! Eeeek!
READING
My reading life is such a huge part of my dreaming and creative world, even if it only happens in ten minute chunks before I go to bed. Some of my favorite reads from this year:
The Best Minds, Jonathon Rosen (tragic and brilliant - I learned so much about law, mental health, history, philosophy)
The Vaster Wilds, Lauren Groff (just unfathomably, unfairly stunning)
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, Gabrielle Zevin (so fun!)
The Covenant of Water, Abraham Verghese (very long and absolutely worthwhile, made me cry a lot)
The Guest, Emma Cline (so unexpected and rich)
CLASSES
In March, out of the blue, I got an email from Catapult, where I had been teaching for four years, to say they were closing up shop. Another ending which became a beginning; I decided to teach my own classes online! Many of them with my amazing writer friend Hannah Selinger, who had been a frequent guest at my Catapult classes. I also taught a four-week food writing workshop with my favorite writing professor, Dinah Lenney. I taught ten classes since April 2023, with hundreds of students. It’s been amazing to watch their big wins!
Speaking of classes, now is your chance to get early bird tickets (discounts!) to these classes for the new year!
January 24: Pitching Intensive
This is our 4th pitching intensive, and for good reason. Our students have landed pieces with Vogue, Conde Nast Traveler, Eater, and so many other great pubs. They've gotten on the regular roster of amazing editors. Pitching is a foundational skill for working writers, and we'll make sure you have the tools and confidence you need to pitch like a pro. Bring a pitch - we'll workshop it together.
Woot woot! Hannah and I met working in restaurants, and both of us have built a lot of our careers on the foundation of food writing. We'll share hard-earned wisdom about writing about food, from reviews to personal essays to recipes and beyond. We will tackle knotty subjects, like what publications to approach and how to approach the; working with publicists; developing angles; broadening vision beyond traditional food publications; and even negotiating rate and budget.
IN THE WORKS - an 8 week group program where we'll supercharge your writing career together. Think: foundations like pitching and story ideas, rates and managing your time. Guest speakers like authors, agents, and editors. A supportive community and inspiring brain trust. If you're interested, send me a note!
Sending love and light and deep breaths and twinkly lights.
xo,
Hannah
PS We are now a matching pajama family.
good god I can't believe your class with Linney was this year. Feels like an eterntiy ago, it was so much fun and occasionally intense and intimate.
I hope you have a great 2024. I'm focusing on "recipe writing" classes this year but I'm sure I'll be back for more classes eventually...
Loved this! Thank you for sharing with us. And I'm so looking forward to your next classes!